Friday, June 4, 2010

Friends V.S Brothers...

My life after accepting Islam was no longer the same.

I lost some friends, but gained many true fiends.

Immediately after accepting Islam at the mosque I was surrounded by Muslim brothers. They were very interested to hear my story, to get to know me, and more importantly to help teach me the ways of my new life choice. Little did I know that giving my phone number to the small group of Muslim brothers that day on the mosque steps would be so impactful in the upcoming months, Or the development of knowledge in my life.

That day I would learn a lot from a cab driver named Muhammad. He invited me to dinner, where we would talk about the very basics of Muslim life and what it meant to be a Muslim, some Islamic etiquette, such as when to say bismillah. We had a lot of laughs that night, until he had to return to his work. I was really begging to see that his life was going to be ok.

It’s funny sometimes how we start out at one place, that day I thought I would find my self praying in this mosque often, but Allah (SWT) had much better plans that I didn’t know about.

I received a phone call from a brother, who received my phone number from a brother that had received it on the steps of the mosque that day. Never the less, this was probably one of the best people for me to meet at the time. Also and American revert, we shared a similar background. Meeting him was comforting, it was nice to see I wasn’t alone, someone else had experience the coming events that I feared. He had experienced, telling his family and his friends, and had attempted to shed light on the ignorance. He introduced me to another Muslim revert that he knew, a brother who was a Jew before he reverted to Islam. These two I knew would understand my hardships that I was to face and would give me advice on a daily basis. The one thing that I have found to be more helpful in the ability to face those fears was simple, having friends who understood because they had been there. This is one of the reasons I write, if one person is helped by my stories (inshallah) then the nights of blogging are worth every second.

We spent many night talking about my fears; about the day I tell my mother I am a Muslim. It is a scary thing to do, you fear losing everything. But here stood to white Muslim brothers, from varying families who had told their families. Though they admitted, it had been tough years, and the relationships were still rocky. I was still inspired. For no other reason then they still had relationships with their parents.

I would meet many more inspiring characters through these brothers this is how I would come into contact with the most influential Muslim yet, Rizwan. Rizwan would take me in like a brother, teaching more then he even realizes about life and Islam. He introduced me to his entire family, and I felt at home with them. Some of my fondest memories would come from his home.

I made a lot of friend’s right after reverting, and in later post you will hear many stories about these brothers and how they have helped me. But with every friend I made, I lost friends also. After reverting, I wanted to tackle the world of ignorance all at once. I was proud of who I am and what I was apart of. Foolishly thinking I thought I would be able to make a difference with my friend’s views on Islam.

To truly make a difference, there would have had to been a discussion between us. After I began to tell my friends, they began to disappear. My worst fears at the time were coming true; friend after friend would ask if I would not talk them anymore, that they didn’t want to be friends with someone who were involved with that. I would always leave them with, I am not different, and I am always here to talk about anything. Most I still haven’t heard from again, some I receive emails from condemning me to hell, and others attempting to “save my soul”.

Some of my friends, who found out, called the navy afraid for my well being. I received a call from a navy Chaplin. Which would turn into a short conversation, he asked if I need help, and I said yes. I asked him if he could help me find more Muslims in the military or a navy Chaplin who was Muslim. He gave me a short response; I don’t know anyone else who is a Muslim. Then he was no longer on the line.

Then the day cam that my superiors found out about it in the military, to put this plainly, it wasn’t and easy day. Mixed emotions filled the room when I had been asked about my religious choice. I would be cross examined about this for a little over an hour, but this being a free country there is nothing more that they could do. I could tell that my stay in the military wouldn’t be easy, that I would begin to get the jobs that I didn’t want, and I was right. Few were understanding, but most would treat me differently every day. I don’t blame those men though. It had already instilled into them in training that Muslims were the enemy. I know that was what I was taught in training. To my surprise I would find a few more Muslims in the area who were also in the military. They too shared my pains. In fact a navy officer, who was Muslim, wrote an article about Islam and gaining interest of the sailors around the world. This article was met with backlash. A navy admiral, whom he would not name, exclaimed in profanity to him that he was in fact glorying the enemy.

I would gain many friends those months, and loser many others. But during that time you must know this, Allah will take care of you. I was given something from him that is better then friends, I was given brothers. If you are reverting, the odds are, you will have people that you cared about run away from you. But trust in Allah and he will give you strength inshalalh.

My next post I will go through my families reaction and stories with them, inshalalh.

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